Hello, my lovely readers!
Today’s post it going to be a collaboration with the one and only, fantastic, Asha from Life By Asha Singh. I’ve done a ton of awesome projects with her – so if you’ve ever read IIB before, you know who this lovely human is.
Asha wrote a post on this very same topic today, so please be sure to check her post out!
Asha’s Blog: http://www.lifebyashasingh.com
Asha’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifebyashasingh/
Asha’s Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/lifebyashasingh/
Ok, friends, repeat after me now:
“GIRL ON GIRL HATE MUST STOP.”
Now louder for the people in the back.
This is cliché; I get it. But, for some reason, this society keeps on pitting us women against each other in just about every sense. We all want to be the “prettiest,” the smartest, the most accomplished, the most exciting, the most likeable on social media, the most popular, the best dressed, the one with the most #relationshipgoals relationship – you get it. It is societally engrained in us to put other women down in order to make ourselves feel better about our own self-esteem. That is a huge problem in so many ways. Why must we villainize the other in order to find security in ourselves? Ok, I have a very applicable Mean Girls quote to insert here, but hear me out – it’s actually super valid.
“Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” – Cady Herron, Mean Girls
Ladies, do we spend half as much time thinking about how kind we are, how thoughtful we are, how supportive we are, how driven we are, the way we obsess over things like our physical appearances or our Instagram captions? The answer is most likely a solid “no.” This is sad, but the way that this society treats women is what molds all of this mess. This society places much more emphasis on women being desirable and easy on the eyes more than other more valuable things like being kind, educated, empowered, or empowering.
We’ll get back to this empowerment talk in a minute. Another issue that needs to be addressed is the way that today’s society makes all people feel the need to measure the validity of their accomplishments based off of the accomplishments of those around them. I fall victim to this trap a whole lot. We need to remind ourselves that our achievements mean what they do in the context of our own lives, and it is time we stop giving into this competitive society. Im not going to get into talking about this issue in the context of society’s beauty standards and definitions because that’s material for a series of novels, so that’ll be compressed into its own blog post at a later date.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Now, you may be thinking, “Indira, this is all good and fine, but how am I supposed to apply it to my life?” It is a million and seven times easier said than done. Here are the steps that I plan on taking from here on out to work on not putting other women down.
- Acknowledge when you are engaging in this “girl on girl hate” behavior, and catch yourself. Saying things like “wow, did you see a guy leaving doing the walk of shame from her dorm room in the morning?” or “wow, that dress is way too tight for her,” is absolutely unnecessary. Okay, a guy is leaving her room in the morning in party clothes, that’s fine and not my problem or place to judge. I am personally not a fan of her dress – but I don’t have to wear it, so that’s fine and not my problem or place to judge. Just repeat to yourself that it is not your problem or your place to judge. Simple as that.
- Stop talking about physical appearance so much. Don’t comment on anyone else’s physical appearance. It is unnecessary. You do what makes you feel attractive, and let other people do the same.
- Take care of yourself. Take care of your soul. Work a little bit every day on improving or solidifying your self confidence. Be kind to yourself and empower yourself. This is the first step towards empowering others. Empower yourself.
I want to end this post with one of my favorite quotes that I think every woman needs to live by, or at least I try to.
“Empowered women empower women.” – Anonymous
Empower yourselves, ladies, and in doing so, don’t make it be at the expense of one or many of your sisters. We are all sisters, no matter what we look like, what reproductive organs we possess, what we do, or where we are. We are all sisters. Be there for your sisters. Empower your sisters.
Mean Girls image courtesy of Pinterest.